Call Super Cuts on Monday and find out when Maxine is working. Do not let anyone else fix her hair except Maxine. If she is working on a Tuesday, take Mom while the cleaning ladies are here. They usually come at 11:00. If they come that early, take her to lunch and then to Maxine's. Try to keep her out of the house while they are here or at least the first hour so that they can get her room cleaned without her in it. The ladies are great and take the whole house apart to clean it.
She can walk from the car to the shop if you hold her hand. She can also walk into restaurants. I only use the wheelchair when I take her to stores.
Where to take Mom to eat
Mom complains and says she does not like to go out to eat and that they serve the same old crap. Ignore her. I feel it is important for her to get her skinny little ass out of bed, put on makeup and dress at least 3 times a week. Give her about an hour to get ready and pick her clothes out for her or she will stare at the clothes in her closet for so long trying to make a decision that she gets disgusted. Help her along by putting her earrings in or fastening her shoes and hooking her bra. While she dresses heat up the curling iron. I never turn it off, I just connect it and disconnect it when we are done.
She cannot make decisions. If you take her to Red Lobster she seems to really like the popcorn shrimp lunch. Order it for her with a baked potato, butter no sour cream, salad with ranch on the side. When the salads (I eat too) arrive I give her my tomato and cucumber. She will pick at her salad. I give her the warm crusts off the biscuits. She will not get them on her own. I give them to her slowly throughout the meal so that she will eat them. Don't bother if they get cold. Sometimes the Sprite is strong enough for her, but it is best just to take her Dr. Pepper.
She seems to like the pizza at Florenza. I prefer to go and sit at the bar while it is baked. That gives me a break and I get the pizza hot from the oven. It's that hot thing again. She eats a mushroom, pepperoni (lite on the pepperoni) sausage pizza. You can add other veggies to it, but that is the basic we order. Tell her to fix her salad while you are gone. Take out her lettuce, shredded carrots, radish and cucumber and her glass bowl. I always have these veggies on hand since she has to have them. Make her more Ranch dressing if it runs out. The packets are in the kitchen pantry and there is always mayonnaise and sour cream. Don't let her make it because she puts too much milk and makes it runny and then wants to add more mayo and it gets nasty. Have her make her salad while you are gone or she will take too long after you arrive with the pizza and it will get cold. She probably will only eat the toppings because she thinks the bottom crust is too soggy. Heaven help us.
The Mexican restaurant Arriba serves decent food. I take her at lunch time because of the specials. She can't make a decision here either. Anytime I have let her change what she usually orders is a disaster. Order her the chicken flautas with rice not beans and a red sauce cheese enchilada. Ask the waiter to make sure they use only white cheese. Mom does not trust the yellow cheese, she thinks it is old. The flautas come with guacamole. I usually order the same but with the spinach green enchilada. Mom will take apart the flauta after about the second bite and eat the meat out of the center. Just look the other way. She will pick at the food and as I say "look for roaches" in it.
She will eat an In and Out Burger any time of the day or night. Order her burger without onions. If you are joining her, order the fries crispy since they are usually limp. She will pick at the fries so I don't order her any unless I am joining her. If she tells you to order it well done, don't bother, they always completely cook them.
I also get her out to get ice cream when ever she wants. Take her to Baskin Robbins and get her a cup with Butter Pecan ice cream. Sometimes she will want to go in and get a pint to go. If she asks for a cone be sure to get a cup because the ice cream will fall off her cone and the cup helps catch it. I usually leave her in the car with the air on because it is too hot right now. She always want me to eat one too so I order the kid size soft cone.
She cannot make decisions. If you take her to Red Lobster she seems to really like the popcorn shrimp lunch. Order it for her with a baked potato, butter no sour cream, salad with ranch on the side. When the salads (I eat too) arrive I give her my tomato and cucumber. She will pick at her salad. I give her the warm crusts off the biscuits. She will not get them on her own. I give them to her slowly throughout the meal so that she will eat them. Don't bother if they get cold. Sometimes the Sprite is strong enough for her, but it is best just to take her Dr. Pepper.
She seems to like the pizza at Florenza. I prefer to go and sit at the bar while it is baked. That gives me a break and I get the pizza hot from the oven. It's that hot thing again. She eats a mushroom, pepperoni (lite on the pepperoni) sausage pizza. You can add other veggies to it, but that is the basic we order. Tell her to fix her salad while you are gone. Take out her lettuce, shredded carrots, radish and cucumber and her glass bowl. I always have these veggies on hand since she has to have them. Make her more Ranch dressing if it runs out. The packets are in the kitchen pantry and there is always mayonnaise and sour cream. Don't let her make it because she puts too much milk and makes it runny and then wants to add more mayo and it gets nasty. Have her make her salad while you are gone or she will take too long after you arrive with the pizza and it will get cold. She probably will only eat the toppings because she thinks the bottom crust is too soggy. Heaven help us.
The Mexican restaurant Arriba serves decent food. I take her at lunch time because of the specials. She can't make a decision here either. Anytime I have let her change what she usually orders is a disaster. Order her the chicken flautas with rice not beans and a red sauce cheese enchilada. Ask the waiter to make sure they use only white cheese. Mom does not trust the yellow cheese, she thinks it is old. The flautas come with guacamole. I usually order the same but with the spinach green enchilada. Mom will take apart the flauta after about the second bite and eat the meat out of the center. Just look the other way. She will pick at the food and as I say "look for roaches" in it.
She will eat an In and Out Burger any time of the day or night. Order her burger without onions. If you are joining her, order the fries crispy since they are usually limp. She will pick at the fries so I don't order her any unless I am joining her. If she tells you to order it well done, don't bother, they always completely cook them.
I also get her out to get ice cream when ever she wants. Take her to Baskin Robbins and get her a cup with Butter Pecan ice cream. Sometimes she will want to go in and get a pint to go. If she asks for a cone be sure to get a cup because the ice cream will fall off her cone and the cup helps catch it. I usually leave her in the car with the air on because it is too hot right now. She always want me to eat one too so I order the kid size soft cone.
Dr Pepper
Mom will only drink Dr. Pepper. She will not drink it in glass or plastic bottles. She wants the small, thin ones. She will drink probably two a day. She forgets to put them in the fridge so keep an eye out and try to have 3 in there at a time. When you take her out to eat, take one of her cans and ask for a glass of ice. I will give you a list of where to take her to eat and what she will eat. These places know her and are very accommodating.
Mom and her sweets
The only donuts she will eat are the Old Fashioned glazed you buy at Basha's. I buy her one at a time every other day or so. They are hard when you buy them so you can imagine how hard they get overnight. I've tried to wrap them in a baggie so that they won't get so hard, but Mom does not like them soft so let them get hard and just get her a new one every other day or so. She also will eat a "crispie". Always ask them to give you the one that is the most toasted. She will not eat what she considers a raw one. She will nibble on this thing several times a day. She always wants a sweet after eating or along with her Dr. Pepper.
Just a note. Basha does not seem to make more than 4 Old Fashioned donuts a day so they sell out quickly. It is best to get them first thing in the day. I've tried the OF donuts at Fry's and they are like concrete so I've stuck with the fresh ones at Basha. Basha is the only store that actually makes their own batter and bakes fresh everyday.
Just a note. Basha does not seem to make more than 4 Old Fashioned donuts a day so they sell out quickly. It is best to get them first thing in the day. I've tried the OF donuts at Fry's and they are like concrete so I've stuck with the fresh ones at Basha. Basha is the only store that actually makes their own batter and bakes fresh everyday.
Things you need to know if you are taking care of Mom
Let's start with breakfast. Mom usually gets up around 8:15 to 8:30. Sometimes she gets up earlier or later, if she is still in bed at 9 am I let her sleep since she probably couldn't sleep the night before. Once you see her go into the bathroom it's time to get her breakfast started. She will want either two slices of bacon or one thinish slice of Spam. Start the bacon or the Spam at 5.5 on the double burner in the red pan. This is the best temperature because once the burner gets hot anything higher will cook too fast. While the bacon cooks take out her cup, milk, her butter (she has her own) and the pineapple apricot jam. Put a frozen waffle in the toaster at 3.5 and press the frozen button. The waffles have to toast 3 times to get them to the proper dark brown toast. Mom will wander in somewhere along this path and wait to be served. Help her pour her coffee, she can manage her sugar and milk. If she has to brew her own coffee, heat the water in her tall poppy cup since it does not have the gold rim like her usual cup. She will put a tiny amount of instant crystals in her cup and take it from there. Do not take your eyes off the bacon or the waffle. Sometimes she will need so much assistance or give you lip that you forget to pop the waffle before the end of the 3rd toasting and burn it or you will burn the bacon since it is thin sliced and cooks rather fast once it starts.
Rush her to get her seated, take her cup to the table with the waffle. If you don't rush her a bit her food will get "cold" and she will be upset. It is a delicate dance to get everything to her while it's hot, but it is worth the effort since it will save you grief. I sit with her while she eats. She does not speak when eating. Sometimes she will want more hot water. Just remember always serve her food hot!
After she eats take her blood pressure and note it on the list. Find the horoscopes in the paper and leave them out for her. This is the only thing she will read. She might putz around a bit, talk, complain, tell you her dreams and accuse you of any number of things. She will fill her glass with ice and water and ask you several times what day it is. Help her pull out her pills. After she takes her pills she might eat some chocolate or a bite of donut. (Buying her sweets will be on another post)
She will want to go "blow her nose" as she calls it, but it is really her using her oxygen. Check the level of the water in the plastic container on the top side of the unit. She uses the oxygen so much that it usually needs to be re-filled. Only refill it with bottled water up to the max line. Now she will lay there and go to sleep and probably not want much until lunch. She eats between 11:00 and 12:00.
Now since you are not me, some or none of the above will apply. She just might pull her "independent" trick so just watch and let her do it unless it means her food will be cold and then step in and take over or you will regret it.
Rush her to get her seated, take her cup to the table with the waffle. If you don't rush her a bit her food will get "cold" and she will be upset. It is a delicate dance to get everything to her while it's hot, but it is worth the effort since it will save you grief. I sit with her while she eats. She does not speak when eating. Sometimes she will want more hot water. Just remember always serve her food hot!
After she eats take her blood pressure and note it on the list. Find the horoscopes in the paper and leave them out for her. This is the only thing she will read. She might putz around a bit, talk, complain, tell you her dreams and accuse you of any number of things. She will fill her glass with ice and water and ask you several times what day it is. Help her pull out her pills. After she takes her pills she might eat some chocolate or a bite of donut. (Buying her sweets will be on another post)
She will want to go "blow her nose" as she calls it, but it is really her using her oxygen. Check the level of the water in the plastic container on the top side of the unit. She uses the oxygen so much that it usually needs to be re-filled. Only refill it with bottled water up to the max line. Now she will lay there and go to sleep and probably not want much until lunch. She eats between 11:00 and 12:00.
Now since you are not me, some or none of the above will apply. She just might pull her "independent" trick so just watch and let her do it unless it means her food will be cold and then step in and take over or you will regret it.
Call from Cousin Nora
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Nora called to wish mom happy birthday. After their conversation I had a few minutes to chat with her. She is sending me a cassette recording of Granny Cosme. She and Rogelio (her husband) sat her down one day and she shared some of her memories. I promised to have it copied onto CDs for the rest of the family. The chat was very interesting. She shared that quite some time ago she went on a search for her grandfather's burial site. He isn't buried in Presidio, he is buried in Ojinaga, Mexico. Mom always said that he was killed in Mexico and that they wouldn't let Cosme bring his body to the US and that he was buried under a tree by the Rio Grande River. Now I learn that he is in Ojinaga. Nora relates that there is some discrepancy in the spelling of Velasco, but she found him anyway. She doubts that Mexico refused to let Cosme bring him over, it probably was more a matter of money and what she would have had to pay. Nora was told that Jose (grandfather) was named Velasco because his real father's name would have caused trouble of some sort and something about the Germans would have killed him and would have tried to trace his father. I told her about Hospital Sanson and it was news to her. Will the real story please come forth?
I promised to share whatever stories I've learned from mom with her at a later time since mom was angry that I was on the phone. She definitely does not like me to talk on the phone.
I promised to share whatever stories I've learned from mom with her at a later time since mom was angry that I was on the phone. She definitely does not like me to talk on the phone.
Mom's Birthday
Today mom is 90! I am so relieved that today her elevator went almost to the top. She was able to read her card from her sister, Josie and enjoy a tiny piece of Divinity Fudge that Geebs sent her. I am so glad that we didn't leave the house because she received flowers from Greg and the fudge from Geebs. It's 108 today and certainly not a day to leave fudge or flowers out. She is so picky that even food she would eat last week she won't touch this week. So she fixed herself half a pimiento cheese sandwich with 4 potato chips. Really, four. No matter what we try to entice her with she will only eat a few bite fulls and push the rest away. She has now refused to go to restaurants saying it's the same old crap and that it's a waste of money since she eats so little of it.
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