July and August More of the Same

7/15/2011

It’s been a while since I last updated you on mom.  She is still doing fine as far as her blood pressure goes. She is sleeping more and more and still refuses to read, sit in a chair, or watch TV. She still can’t taste or smell her food so she is salting the heck out of everything she eats (except ice cream). She is getting more frail and has difficulty walking unassisted. She refuses to use a cane or a walker so she goes from furniture to furniture or I hold her hand. I think her ability to remember from day to day is about 20%. She as acquired strong coping skills so her memory loss is not noticed unless you live with her day to day. She gets ideas yet she does not have the ability to do anything she wants. She tires more easily now because of all the bed rest. I am at a loss as to how to make her sit instead of lay. The more she stays in bed the weaker she gets and the weaker she gets the more frustrated she gets that she can’t do anything. Sigh.

Her home in El Paso has been neglected. The neighbor that promised to water and have the yard taken care of did not. I have called her often and discussed the house and she tells me that it is fine and they are taking care of it. I have sent her money, but maybe she has only used it on cat food. Mom’s cat still haunts the house and Virginia feeds it everyday. I know the house and yard are a mess because one of mom’s old friends wants to buy the house for her son and daughter in law. I had Virginia open up the house for her last week. Leticia says the yard is hard packed dirt and that the trees have died from lack of water. All of the plants are dead too. The house has a terrible smell coming from the kitchen drain. The linoleum has pulled up in every room. The outside water pipes on the roof where the air conditioner is froze this winter. If you turn on the air, water floods down the roof. Leticia and her family are now aware of some of the houses’ problems and are willing to fix them. I actually feel rotten about its condition; it was a mess when I was last there. If they will take it as is and give us decent money I just as soon let it go. I think our original ideas about its value were way over rated when you take its location and condition into consideration.

Geeb is checking with a real estate agent that will evaluate the house and its condition and give us a relative value on it.  I appreciate his help and advice. He explained to me how hard it is to sell to family or friends and each wants as good a price as possible. Basically I just want the house sold. Mom is not going into a nursing home so any funds will go to her care if and when Lynn and I can get a vacation. I have not had the energy to keep on top of the house and selling it and apparently I depended on people that I thought I could trust. At least the house is empty and mom’s belongings given to family and friends. I will let you know if there are any changes in the house selling status.

8/30/2011

I’ve procrastinated long enough. I have been waiting to see if I could report anything positive and it just has not turned out that way.

Mom is now living in another reality at least 90% of the time. She is either having very vivid dreams or some part of her memory process is putting pieces of the past and present together and creating something very real only to her. After hearing her adventures I have trouble keeping my world on the ground.

In the past weeks she has been visited (in her mind) by Nora and her husband. They came to visit while I was out and they ate all the leftovers in the refrigerator and left just before I got home. They left because there was no food left. Cyndi (in her mind) was here and was pregnant and asking us to make her baby blankets. Greg and Helen came by and were not married yet and were inviting her to their wedding. The ladies who come to clean the house were here and stole a piece of her jewelry and some of her clothes. The most disturbing visit was this morning at 3:30 I found her in the living room looking out the window waiting for Jeanie to return. It seems “Jeanie” was here and spoke with her and told her all about Gabby and the family. She then left and promised to be right back so mother was waiting for her.

These are just a few of what I call her “dreams”. Today she said a young boy was here and she had to cut his hair because he had chewing gum stuck in it. These episodes are very real to her and all I keep telling her is that she has just had a dream. I know she would not understand any other explanation. She is weaker now and the day is not far when I will have to feed her. She has trouble getting the spoon or fork to her mouth. She lost her balance and slipped the other day and thank God she did not break anything. She did get a small bruise on her elbow and a scrape on her back. I had to feed her while she was in bed and give her massages whenever she remembered.

One positive thing is Riley (my cat) knows that she should not be up and around at night. He gets on the bed and yowls at me to get up and after I do I find mom up and about waiting for one person or another to come by. Lynn has suggested that we lock the front screen door at night just in case she wants to go visit someone. I agreed. Sometimes she thinks she is in Marfa, sometimes El Paso so we aren’t taking any chances.

I apologize to my friends and family for not e-mailing, calling, etc. Most of the time I’m just pooped and other times I just don’t want to be a downer. I think of you often and wish we could visit like we did before, but that has to wait. Thank you for your support and for calling to speak with Mom when you have a chance.

A special thanks to Geeb for taking control of selling mom’s house. He has been a god-send locating a realtor and coordinating the repairs at the house. Hopefully the house will sell and we’ll be able to have Susan (Mom’s care giver on Thursdays) take care of Mom more often. She is a marvel in understanding Mom’s picky ways.