Mom's 3rd Anniversary with us and December Dramas

10-16-2011

Next month will be the third anniversary of mom’s move to AZ. It has not been easy having her live with me and Lynn, but it has given me a whole new outlook on how to care for the elderly with dementia. Since I live with her many times I do not notice many of the subtle and not so subtle changes she is undergoing.

I do not want to be like the “boy who cried wolf”, but it is time to let you know that day by day she is getting weaker, more afraid to walk unassisted, and unable to taste her food. The only spice she can taste is salt and she salts her food 4 or 5 times during the meal. She can’t remember what food tastes like so I have to show her the dish so she can decide whether she wants Jell-O or ice cream. She can’t even taste her loved Dr. Pepper anymore and pushes it away because she says it’s tasteless.

She used to love to go shopping and now complains that it is too much trouble to get dressed. She still does want her hair and nails professionally done. These are just a few of the many changes she is undergoing. Her advanced dementia and weakness have made aging wretched for her. She is no longer the “granny” we all knew.

Riel is still on task trying to get her house sold. We have a realtor, have done minor repairs, yet it sits. He is also working to get her property taxes reduced since she is due an exemption due to age.

On another topic, I spoke with my sister Laura and she also is experiencing dementia. She can’t taste her food and since she doesn’t get hungry, she forgets to eat. She is slogging it out alone. If you have time please give her a regular call to keep her connected.  She is so isolated in El Paso now that mom is with me.

Thank you for supporting us during this journey.

12-30-2011

Riley has now become an official guard cat. He makes sure that the house is quiet and that nothing is moving about except him.

Mom has begun to talk in her sleep. Sometimes she just talks and other times she shouts. At 12:30 pm last night she was shouting so loud that I could hear her through my ear plugs and Riley was howling too. He got on the bed, sat on my chest and yowled. It is very hard to sleep through that. I got up and listened to mom as she shouted and argued with someone while she slept. Since I was only hearing one side of the conversation it was hard to understand. She kept talking about a green taxi, packing and something about food. I didn't wake her as that would be worse. So I fed Riley, patted him and he stopped yowling.

At 4:30 am Riley was on my chest very carefully walking across it making sure to step on my nipples. He seems to know that gets an instant response. After knocking him off I suddenly could smell something burned. Got my butt out of bed pretty fast to find mom in the kitchen. She was warming (burning) a tortilla on top of the toaster. She had put left over refried beans and shrimp on it. She had also cut up a tomato. She would not talk to me and when I touched her shoulder she shook it off. She put her nose in the air and would not respond. I kept talking to her and she finally said that someone kept turning on and off the light in her room. She also said that someone had been beating her. I explained that no one was in the house but me and Lynn and that we were asleep so no one was beating her. She insisted that she was beaten and only got over it when I asked her to show me where the bruises and cuts were and she couldn't.

Then comes the cool part. I waited until she had finished her burnt and cold meal and took her to her room. Her room was a mess. The bed clothes were off and her clothes were everywhere. I asked her what that was about and she said: " I had to pack because Gabby has to be at work tomorrow. He and Jeanie are taking me home." I asked her if she was sure it was Gabby and Jean and she said yes. They were also taking her to Josie's house. I talked her through that and she finally remembered that Gabby was in Austin and not in El Paso anymore. She lay down and while I picked up the room she came alert and told me that Josie had fixed her a room at her house and that she had fixed it exactly like the one she has here. I gave up and asked her about the green taxi and she told me all about it and that it took her to Josie's house. The rest of the conversation was too twisted for me to repeat.

Every night it is something. Either she is shouting in her sleep or getting up and sitting in the hall talking to who knows who. Riley makes sure I know about it if I'm lucky enough to sleep through it. He thinks if she has him awake, I should be awake too. It is really quite a circus day and night around here and it would be very funny if I weren't so sleep deprived. (By the way, Lynn sleeps through the whole thing even with Riley yowling.)